Umbrella Carrying/Using in Chicago

Ok, so what is the deal with the golf umbrellas downtown? Does one person really need the gigantic umbrella all for themselves? On my way home last night in the pouring rain I was reminded of how much I hate rain in Chicago. First, we have to deal with all the wind, and if you have to walk within a block of the Sears Tower like I once did…forget it! The winds will destroy 99% of all umbrellas. I gave up using an umbrella, and unless I have to look really presentable, I prefer not using one and getting soaked, versus using one and having it blow in and out all while threatening the eyes of whoever walks next to me. This all brings me to the second reason I hate rain in Chicago…eye protection. Walking in a mass of people with umbrellas can be quite hazardous with all those end things really close to your eyes. I am the person walking with both hands on my head giving myself tunnel vision so I can save my eyes. Last (for now), I really have the biggest problem with the people who carry the golf umbrellas when it is not raining…you know the jack asses that carry them parallel with the ground so the person behind them gets stabbed if the person carrying the umbrella comes to an abrupt stop. This almost happened to me this morning as I was crossing a bridge…I remember the bridge because I was tempted to grab the umbrella and throw it into the Chicago river. Moral of the story…if you carry an umbrella or use an umbrella, please be aware of where it is. Thanks.